Unsettled…
She dipped in the shallow sea waves, making her body float with the flow. She was unsure whether she wanted to go to the shore by choosing ‘safe’ life… or whether she wanted to swim in the current of the sea water that was as ‘unsettled’ as her emotions.
“What would people say?” — the question that had intrigued her all her life seemed so insignificant today. She was ready to challenge boundaries of this society, that reduce a human being to mere puppet in its hands. Gazing at the stars in the sky, slowly she slipped out her solitaire wedding ring and threw it away in deep waters of the sea.
Anika was born with a raw heart and spirit of a free bird — so strong, so bold and unafraid of the world. But her sophisticated family members tamed her into a charming woman of poise. In the process she had learned how to deafen herself from the beats of her heart, to become an obedient daughter that every parent wished to have.
From clothes to friends, from education to marriage, every decision for her was taken by her parents, that she graciously accepted. Little was she aware that each nod added to the lava growing within her, ready to erupt one day. By teenage, she had mastered the art of clipping her wings that fluttered each time she came across a good soul. She had managed to dig deep the feelings of love, passion, jealousy from where they could never come out again.
But, her nomadic heart hated discipline. It pained on getting trapped in responsibilities , of a wife, mother & a home maker. Her life was handful with a caring husband & loving kids. But something was amiss. Her smile had a deep frown inside, her happiness had a pain of a wound, her excitement had tears rolling down of something unpleasant that she was unable to figure out. Her friends envied her for the life she had, but she never felt blessed.
One day, while combing hair, her eyes struck at the mirror. What she saw at her reflection was a silhouette made of her loved ones — husband, kids, parents, friends. Unable to see herself, she started looking for her heart. It was lying dead in a coffin. She mourned for a while, then headed towards the sea beside her home. As she walked, faces of all those she was attracted to at some point in life, flashed in front of her — school friend, college ‘BFF’, flirtious office colleague. But each encounter had met the same climax — denial for ‘forbidden love’.
But today, she had felt her heart beat after ages. She realized that she had fallen in love with this man next door… a stranger? No, she had known him for the last three years, through exchange of glances every now and then. He had pierced ears, tattoed arms, hair tied in a ponytail, dressed up like a hippy, and looked just like her husband never could. Every morning, when she would open her apartment door for her maid, she would see him leaving for gym. While going for daily grocery, she would hear his bike speed by. Multiple times in the lift, she had seen him with different girlfriends.
Today morning, after her kids had boarded the school bus and her husband had left for work, she went to the park for a walk. All of a sudden, she lost her balance and fell down. On the way to his apartment, he saw her faint and immediately rushed towards her. As he lifted her, she could smell the sweat trickling down his broad, well carved chest. Her eyes were closed, lips were tightened and her breath had almost stopped by his touch. After reaching her apartment, she felt a peck on her cheek.
It was the outflow of the same feelings he had for her, but were hidden since a long time. Then was the eruption of the volcano of feelings, of the ‘forbidden’ love. But it gave them the best moments of their lives. He expressed how he would look forward to each morning, when she would open her apartment door to fetch newspaper, how he had timed to leave his home so that he could board the lift with her. He had not realized when he had hopelessly fallen in love with her.
Overwhelmed, she had tears rolling down her eyes. She refrained from being the ‘perfect one’ to ‘original one’ — the wild girl with dreams in her eyes and confidence in herself. She was done with the burden of ‘denial’ that she had carried all her life. She felt so light. Filled with emotions, she briskly walked towards the sea. As she laid down in the pristine clear water, her ears became deaf to the noise of the society. She had no remorse today, for she had rediscovered her original self, the nomadic heart beating in her, the spirit freely flying like a bird in the sky, so high where nothing could reach….
IT WAS HER REBIRTH…!!